Finn:
Hey dude, want some of my magical healing goo?
Jake:
Nah, I think kisses work better.
Finn:
You're gross, dude.
Jake:
We all have our own ways!
Adventures in Anxiety #1
Don’t you ever fucking text me with something like “We need to talk”, do you have any idea what kind of shitstorm that brings on? Give it to me straight or shut the fuck up.
The Three Days Rule
Ted:
Barney, the three days rule is insane. I mean, who even came up with that?
Barney:
Jesus.
Marshall:
Barney, don't do this, not with Jesus.
Barney:
Seriously, Jesus started the whole wait three days thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he'd have only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They'd be all "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday." and they'd be all, "Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude." And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle. And then the dude would be like "Uh, okay. Whatever you say, bro."
Robin:
Wow, ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now.
Barney:
And he's not gonna come back on a Saturday! Everybody's busy! Doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' their beards. Nooo. He waits the exact right number of days: Three.
Ted:
Okay, I promise, I'll wait three days just please stop talking.
Barney:
...
Barney:
Plus it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already. They're all in there "Oh nooo. Jesus is dead."
Ted:
Marshall:
Robin:
Barney:
True story.
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
